the way we weren't RSS

oh, hello.
my name is kira.
i live in los angeles.
i'm from chicago.
i'm a comedian
and a writer
and i like YOU.

love letters: flamelikeme@gmail.com
jokes: twitter.com/kirahesser

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Aug
6th
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The other day I walked into what has got to be the most delightfully INCONVENIENT convenience store of all time.
The woman behind her plate glass Koreatown register window has some major OCD happening - I’m not sure why she felt it necessary to write a bilingual “No Bag” about 7,000 times, especially since I walked in with a bag and she merely smiled and waved a friendly hello at me.
And who would’ve known how many different permutations of “No Baby Inside Bicycle Car” you can make?! I noticed this wall on the way out and called out to her:
“YOU HAVE SAID NO TO SO MANY THINGS! SO MANY NO’s!”
She threw her head back and laughed. “HAHAHA YES! I MUST SAY NO! SO MANY THINGS TO SAY NO!”
She also had a ’90s era cotton-casual shirt-shorts outfit hanging on the wall next to dusty cans of Pringles and beans. I still regret not buying it, because you bet I inquired whether it was for sale, and she must have been joking, because she said….yes.

The other day I walked into what has got to be the most delightfully INCONVENIENT convenience store of all time.

The woman behind her plate glass Koreatown register window has some major OCD happening - I’m not sure why she felt it necessary to write a bilingual “No Bag” about 7,000 times, especially since I walked in with a bag and she merely smiled and waved a friendly hello at me.

And who would’ve known how many different permutations of “No Baby Inside Bicycle Car” you can make?! I noticed this wall on the way out and called out to her:

“YOU HAVE SAID NO TO SO MANY THINGS! SO MANY NO’s!”

She threw her head back and laughed. “HAHAHA YES! I MUST SAY NO! SO MANY THINGS TO SAY NO!”

She also had a ’90s era cotton-casual shirt-shorts outfit hanging on the wall next to dusty cans of Pringles and beans. I still regret not buying it, because you bet I inquired whether it was for sale, and she must have been joking, because she said….yes.

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